Now BFF I have some questions for you.....
When did you first know you were a fat kid ? Have you been like this forever ?
Believe it or not, I have not always been a fat kid. As a young child, I would "accidentally" spill milk on my dinner as a way not to eat it. I would like to thank my mother for instilling fat kid logic in me, however. She used to insist that "guys love a girl who cleans her plate" and I always figured that it worked for her. As yet, it has distinctly not worked for me. Thanks, ma.
If you could only eat one thing and drink one thing for the rest of your life what would it be ?
I would eat ham and swiss sandwiches melted on white bread with dijon mustard and mayonnaise. It's not cute or distinguished, but it's good. And I'd drink room-temperature Diet Coke out of a can. Am I officially white trash now?
What is one food you HATE and why ?
Weird canned fruits. Mandarin oranges, maraschino cherries, Dole fruit cocktail with those terrible mealy pears. Ugh, who even thinks that is good? Revolting.
How do you maintain friendships with non fatties ?
It's been a long and difficult road. Mostly, I drown my sorrows in food and drink and pretend like they are the ones with problems. It's a vicious cycle, the fatty circle of life. Also, I invent vices worse than being a fatty so they forget about my food addiction: my penchant for Miley Cyrus music being a prime example.
What is your favorite dish you have ever ordered at a restaurant and why ? (I know you are going with Rue)
Well, you should know that I am so damn stubborn that I will not choose Rue de Jean's moules en pistou just because you already called me out on it. But I'll set aside my pride and vanity because they're just that frickin' good. (I also have a ridiculous soft spot in my heart for Fast & French's fondue nights.)
Just look at me ready to stab some cheese and bread onto that long fork!
How do you not know how to make popcorn ?
This is a sore subject, can we just leave it alone? I make delicious apple butter!
If you could have Gaga's body, BUT you had to give up being a fat kid, would you do it ?
This is a moot point. Part of having GaGa's body is doing those awesome "Bad Romance" dance moves on the Precor machine at the gym. And the gym is a necessary evil of any fat kid who hasn't entirely given up on life. I think my logic here might be faulty, so I just won't choose between the two.
Favorite restaurant ever (other than AWS)
This is a hard one! And let's be honest, they're mostly Charleston establishments. This will sound weird, but I'm going to say 3 Little Birds because I have such fond memories of their amazing brunch and lunch menus and stopping there on the way to the beach. Plus, they have little creamers that resemble cows!
What is your fave meal we have ever dinned on together and why ?
Does the Oyster Roast count as a meal? Because it was amazing! Oysters and beer and my $20 stainless steel shucker that I subsequently lost. I could live off of oysters and beer...
The infamous stainless steel shucking machine.
Worst meal ever and why ?
Quiche. I hate quiche. Sometimes, at home, my family pairs quiche with canned fruit cocktail and a part of me dies inside. I mean, I love my family, but I hate quiche. (Except for Anna's, she is a brilliant cook who can make delightful quiche!)
How exactly does one build a city on rock and roll ?
With magic... Or drugs. I don't know, but however they did it, I think the fine people of Starship deserve a reward because that was like my favorite song as a child.
Thank you for asking such probing questions, friend! Let's talk more about Sampan next time and less about us. I can't wait to describe those edamame dumplings!
No comments:
Post a Comment